Changes in life. .

There are times in life when I feel drained.. hollow.. with nothing left inside me .. with no strength to give more and expect nothing in return. When the faith inside me is shaken and stirred, and it takes a lot of courage to cling on to hope.. 

Life changes you.. in more ways than you can imagine.. Everyday is a new test, a new challenge and a new lesson. You meet new people, you get hurt, you fall down , you get up. 

You feel like you have nothing more left to give, 

You feel like there is nothing left to smile for.

You're afraid.. afraid that the past will repeat itself. Afraid of having the courage to risk everything and giving your everything again. Afraid of getting hurt, afraid of being the "loser" again. They say, the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. I couldn't agree more. 

Just moments before, I thought I will never ever be the same "give it everything what's life without risks?" person again. I felt I had lost her on the way. . somewhere behind a broken trust. I sat and just glanced at my reflection in the mirror.. It seemed like it wanted to convey something.. I closed my eyes and I heard it speak..

"Look at you. Haven't you changed?"

I was shocked, looked at it in utter disbelief.. 

"Who are you? Am I hallucinating?". I could feel the sweat dripping down my forehead.

"You know me. I'm the old you and you're the new me."

"Huh?"

"Cleanse your soul of regrets and hatred.. Just think with a mind free of the memories of the past and worries of the future." She simply said.

"But I can't go back to being who I was.. I don't want to give it everything for something I'm never gonna get.. I don't want to wait my whole life for people who always took me for granted.."

"Silly you. The past has gone.. You've to learn the lessons from it and let it go away.. Your life history makes you ready for the greater obstacles that are gonna come later on in your journey.. You can't keep running away from them.. The only to assassinate your fears, is to take them on, with belief and faith . "

"Will I be able to believe the same way again?"

"Belief.. I know you will. Not blind faith anymore, not unrealistic fantasies anymore. But a belief that life balances everything . There is a reason behind everything.. behind the rising of the sun, behind the humming of the bird. Everything has a plan. And if you close you eyes, you will miss out of the new opportunities, new joys , new plans . The only thing constant in life is change. We cannot avoid it. We can just take in the wisdom of the world and let our soul grow.. each day, each moment."

And with that, I smiled at my reflection, and felt a smile coming back at me in return. For the first time, I felt we were one. The old experiences and the new hopes. Go together hand in hand. Making me the person I am. Making life the way it is. 

:)