The Master Plan..

How many times in our lives have we questioned “why?”. “Why is this happening to me?”

“Why do I end up being hurt?”

“Why am I such a loser?”

“Why can’t he be mine?” “Why can’t people understand my feelings?”

With me, it was quite a number of times. Then I decided to do something extremely simple. I changed the "Why?" to "Why not?"

Tears? Why not? They will just make my vision clearer.

Heartbreaks? Why not? There will also be someone to mend it.

Failures, why not? They will just make the victory sweeter.

And all of a sudden, the misted veil over life, complications, began to fade away..revealing the beautiful light beneath it. The smug look on the face of life quickly changed into a grin. I smiled at life and it smiled back at me.

Life wasn't a play of mere blobs anymore.. it was a beautiful abstract painting. The pieces of the jigsaw puzzle started to fall into place and slowly, the picture made sense. Funnily enough, the "why not?"s provided many more answers than the "why?"s. The answers seemed to connect together and form a plan, life. I was a mere dot in the world, just like a twinkling star in the vast sky, but I was here for a reason . I had a purpose of existence. I was a part of the bigger plan called Humanity. I was here to follow my dreams, follow my heart, connect the dots and the lives of people. I wouldn't be born without my mother. My mother wouldn't be born without me. 

I am a daughter, a sister , a friend, a lover, an example, an identity, a being , a warrior, a twinkling star ; a part of the master plan.

Changes in life. .

There are times in life when I feel drained.. hollow.. with nothing left inside me .. with no strength to give more and expect nothing in return. When the faith inside me is shaken and stirred, and it takes a lot of courage to cling on to hope.. 

Life changes you.. in more ways than you can imagine.. Everyday is a new test, a new challenge and a new lesson. You meet new people, you get hurt, you fall down , you get up. 

You feel like you have nothing more left to give, 

You feel like there is nothing left to smile for.

You're afraid.. afraid that the past will repeat itself. Afraid of having the courage to risk everything and giving your everything again. Afraid of getting hurt, afraid of being the "loser" again. They say, the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. I couldn't agree more. 

Just moments before, I thought I will never ever be the same "give it everything what's life without risks?" person again. I felt I had lost her on the way. . somewhere behind a broken trust. I sat and just glanced at my reflection in the mirror.. It seemed like it wanted to convey something.. I closed my eyes and I heard it speak..

"Look at you. Haven't you changed?"

I was shocked, looked at it in utter disbelief.. 

"Who are you? Am I hallucinating?". I could feel the sweat dripping down my forehead.

"You know me. I'm the old you and you're the new me."

"Huh?"

"Cleanse your soul of regrets and hatred.. Just think with a mind free of the memories of the past and worries of the future." She simply said.

"But I can't go back to being who I was.. I don't want to give it everything for something I'm never gonna get.. I don't want to wait my whole life for people who always took me for granted.."

"Silly you. The past has gone.. You've to learn the lessons from it and let it go away.. Your life history makes you ready for the greater obstacles that are gonna come later on in your journey.. You can't keep running away from them.. The only to assassinate your fears, is to take them on, with belief and faith . "

"Will I be able to believe the same way again?"

"Belief.. I know you will. Not blind faith anymore, not unrealistic fantasies anymore. But a belief that life balances everything . There is a reason behind everything.. behind the rising of the sun, behind the humming of the bird. Everything has a plan. And if you close you eyes, you will miss out of the new opportunities, new joys , new plans . The only thing constant in life is change. We cannot avoid it. We can just take in the wisdom of the world and let our soul grow.. each day, each moment."

And with that, I smiled at my reflection, and felt a smile coming back at me in return. For the first time, I felt we were one. The old experiences and the new hopes. Go together hand in hand. Making me the person I am. Making life the way it is. 

:)

Ever since class 10th has started.. I've felt sort of lifeless. I've always been a school lover and never in my life, have I hated school. But in the last few days, it has become sort of monotonous.. with nothing to look forward to.. There has been work, work and more work. And when I look back, the last time I REALLY laughed my ass off was during class 8th.. It was THE best year of my life. Everyday was so much fun.. all the people that were there.. my group, my class. People I've lost touch with, people I miss.. a lot. It's never been the same without them. I'd do anything to have those days back. And yet, I sit here , writing this down, and I know, I cannot rewind time, as much as  I want to. 

Life was going in a direction I didn't want to.. There were people running, here, there, everyone after one thing or the other, half of them without even knowing why. I just wanted to take a remote, and pause it all. Just breathe for a moment. Just do what my heart wants me to do, for a day. Just take time out, sing, dance, write, draw and forget about the various assignments in school and just concentrate on the biggest assignment : Life. 

Happiness. . No , I will not go looking for it. Happiness.. it will come. It's been too long, it has to.

Happiness.. what is it? 

For me, it's the simple joy to see people smile. 

To see people cherish the beauty of life.

To see people never give up on hope.

I know, everything happens for a reason. I will go through this. I will be happy. I will never give up. I will fight, fight for my dream. Fight for my people. Fight for love. Fight for life.

A fight with only one weapon : Self belief. 

And I have a feeling, better days are just around the corner . And no, I will not let them go away.. :) 

Seeking Salvation..

What good have i wrought, I laugh to have learned,

the joy cannot come unless it is earned.

a pure expression of transitory sensation of bliss,

but often to achieve it he has to cross the dark abyss.

one can only achieve the beatitude, if he has struggled enough,

only if he comes upfront and does assassinate his fears.

an inner realization is due, humanity eons behind,

when will man learn the pure ethereal joy of the divine.

he stands atop the summit, having conquered all,

Alas! these materialistic things don't bring joy anymore, it's the love, my lord.

he yearns for the warms atop alone, he is cold and numb

but can't discover thee, the love and guidance to whom he'll succumb.

to soar in the land of happiness, to yearn his true inner peace,

he must aviate in the wonderland of love and serenity.

in the silence, images of his past, flash through his mind,

and he begs for redemption from the omniscient god for the things he cannot efface.

through the mist of darkness he sees a vision so radiant, so mystical,

with tenderness she caresses him and speaks,

"When all is lost, i shall exist; I'm hope, my child."

Call of the Mother..

This is a poem created by my two awesome friends and I.. turned out to be nice eh? :D Hope you like it :) 

The west yet glimmers with some streaks of day.
Now spurs the lated traveller apace
To gain the timely inn
The soft winter sun forms shadows of his past,
Breaking him at the seams, tearing him apart..
His pain is limitless, the sorrow is vast
but he now surrenders his life in the hands of his creator
His feet take him to the place he once revered
Reminiscing about his last farewell, the soft pattering of his daughter's feet
The melodious laughter of his love echoes in the loud emptiness,
But she is just a vision so mystical, a dream so long ended..
How he longs for her to have, and everyone else around
so that boundless love would flow in and beatitude would crawl in
But all is lost, his sweet haven now just a barren niche
His heart threatens to break away from this terrible anguish he feels 
But he has to find his way out  to withstand this pain no more
For the old images prolong in his mind and in the land of dream does he soar
Strangely, the pain which engulfs him sets him free and he walks on,
There is still a larger call which rings in his ears...Still a larger task which awaits his tireless striving.. Still a larger family which awaits his son, his country, his Mother.

"I wandered through fiction to look for the truth,
Buried beneath all the lies..."

Truth is a whisper, they say
Uttered by the Almighty
Men may try to silence it
They may try to twist the words
But the Truth will live on..
It's written in the stars,
It lives on like the sun
It is not afraid of death
It is not overwhelmed by life
And it lives on,
In the hearts of those who believe
And it will be found,
By the ones who walk on its path.

Break away..

Her silent cries echo in the loud emptiness

Her melancholy eyes wait for justice

Her sealed lips wish to utter unspoken words

Bound up in chains, she longs for freedom..

Her mind wonders how the outside world would be

Her broken heart prays for a messiah

Her shattered dreams pierce through her reflection

Slowly withering away, she's afraid to believe..

Too fragile to stand up

Too bruised to be healed..

Yet, too strong to be broken

Too stubborn to give up

She carries visions of a better tomorrow

She plants seeds of hope in her heart

She knows, one day, through the mist of darkness

There will be light, and she will break away...

:)